I come from a family of pragmatic realists, who have long made fun of my willingness to believe, well, anything. Gullible? Okay yes, I did think Pantene would make my hair like the woman in the advert, so I cannot refute that with any real gusto, but the magic that I’m leaning into now is… gentler. In my thirties I leaned fully into the beliefs I held as a toddler talking to plants and fairies and angels (and any mythical creature who’d give me time of day, really).
Growing up, meditation was the purvey of either the religious or the counter-cuture, depending on where in the world you were. Cut to somebody actually bothering to study the effects of meditation on the brain; evidence for the benefits of mindfulness has been piling up in scientific journals for years, and now doctors will talk neuroplasticity and mindfulness like they didn’t spend four decades calling it navel-gazing nonsense. In 2022 we’re in what’s been dubbed a ‘psychedelic renaissance’ as the scientific dossier on even mind-expanding drugs has been reopened for research and study, and what’s emerging kicks to the curb decades of stigma and fear: the potential to heal mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, trauma, and addiction.
In any case, a challenging couple of years have brought me to quite an exciting place, where I surrender entirely the notion that the magical beliefs of my childhood must be replaced by rational and scientific reasoning in adulthood. I mean, where is the wonder and joy in that? Roald Dahl said, “Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it,” and that’s the camp I want to hang out in.
Whether you’re religious, spiritual, or just like a nice decor vignette, there is power in creating altars. An altar doesn’t have to be an assortment of idols, or even bear any devotional significance. Mine is actually my workdesk. Before I sit down to work I will wipe down my desk, reshuffle my crystals, light some incense or a candle, and cast a fervent skyward wish for a good one, and only then fire up the laptop to get into my day.
And once I’m in there, there is my desktop and my Instagram feed: the places I now think of as my digital altars. Sounds silly, but it’s very simple really: I spend a lot of my time in both those places because that is where the work is, and so I treat them much like I do my workdesk. Basically I clean that shit up.
In 2023 there is obviously nothing more dull than discussing how much time we spend on the internet/our phones, said impact of excessive time spent on the internet/our phones, or pledging new ways to spend less time on the internet/our phones. But we seem to loop back around to those themes because we are collectively aware that, convenience aside, it is turning our brains and relationships to shit.
I recently pimped my desktop in a bid to reframe my relationship with it. You’d be surprised at how much overwhelm is caused by a cluttered desktop. Redesigning it was a small tweak but a significant one. Now, every time I look at it I am not panic stricken. Much nicer.
I used Image2icon from the incredible Setapp suite, a subscription based service that has 230+ apps for Mac and iPhone that run the gamut from CleanMyMacX which does exactly what the name suggests, keeping your files sorted and checking for malware, to a library of other apps that do everything from word processing, screen grabbing, list-making, mockup-making, project planning, file converting, video-to-tv streaming, volume-boosting… it’s a goddamn Pandora’s box of efficient and well-designed tools and I can’t get enough of it.
Want in? Sign up using this link and both you and I get a free month’s subscription.
Plus, and I am far from the first person to say this, but if you’re anything like me, you are spending way too much time on Instagram these days. Clean. That. Shit. Up.
Follow accounts that delight, inspire, or are dog meme accounts because those will do both. Unfollow that person from school whose punctuation pisses you off, and also that one that you can’t remember following and scroll past everyday anyway.
Gratitude is the simplest and cheapest (er, it’s free) bit of everyday magic I’ve ever experienced. It is a cliché, I know, and I use an app to ‘do my grats’ because it feels too Oprah to pull out an actual gratitude journal. I’m a bit bashful about this now-daily practice, but here I am telling anybody who will listen anyway because it is what I credit with lifting me out of a funk after a tricky and transitional year.
It’s one of those practices that’s been around forever, and you’ve likely thought of it and forgotten seconds later because, well, it sounds pretty lame and simplistic. It IS, as it happens, pretty simple. But earnest halo aside, there is nothing lame about it because man does it shift mindset like nothing else.
Every day is different. Some days I’ll witter on and on: grateful for the dogs! A cancelled meeting! A sense of optimism about x or y! Some days are less effusive. I’m grateful for my health, I’ll write. Or for deep sleep. Or that I have friends and family I adore. But as I make my little list I am reminded with each word I type that my life is pretty full of blessings, and suddenly it is easier and easier to see that actually, there is much to give thanks for.
I love the work of Slovenian photographer Jean Pierrot. There’s a sexy nostalgia to his shot-on-film work that tell the story of falling in love and magical escape. Most of Pierrot’s work is situated in the sun and in nature, and includes the occasional audiovisual interlude: L:'horizon (sandpiper ballet) is a single recorded as a supplementary sensory experience for his work Clay, and was recorded between the south west coast of France and Paris.
Faith and fear both demand you believe in something you cannot see. You choose…
You know what would be cool? If we just collectively went a little easier on ourselves. I have been the queen of discipline. The empress of effort. The rani of relentless self-betterment… but I can’t be the only one who’s a little tired and wondering: god, does it let up? So I’m practicing self-compassion with how I set goals.
Are you looking to move more? Do you enjoy yoga classes or find them stressful and slow? Do you need the energy of a group class to egg you on or is a solo run the zen sweat that you know you’ll stick with? Are you really going to cook? If not, is paying someone to do that for you a better investment than buying groceries that will go bad while you reach for Zomato anyway? Even an excellent trainer has zero impact if you don’t show up for your sessions, plus life is really, really short so make it easier for yourself. Pick one goal, and don’t make pledges around things you hate doing. It makes a new habit a less-horrible prospect, aka you are more likely to do it.
Yes of course you could put it off until you’ve bought all the kit and the trainers and also the watch and heart rate tracker, but you know this as well as I do: that’s just the fun frosting. You don’t actually need ANY of it. But make it easier for yourself: working out in the morning? Prep your breakfast and clothes the night before. Heading to work straight from the gym? Pack your bag a day prior. Want to eat better? Buy the produce or find a meal service. Giving yourself this grace and support might be the thing that helps make it stick.
Exercising isn’t the challenge for me, in that after 10 years of dedication around movement, it’s now actually really very fun. Do I sound like a smug fuck? Apologies, but perhaps it will help to know that workouts are now the easy-peasy, but mental health stuff and slowing down is a big toughie. I just cannot do it, and the signs I need to address it are abundant: someone I go to for massages told me very seriously that my scalp is insanely tight because I’m such an over-thinker. At work I feel the overwhelm and know it’s emanating from me, not my workload. To try and address it without feeling shitty about giving up midway, I found this, a meditation for short attention spans that I’m going to try for a week. I still hate it, but surely I can make it through 4 minutes? We’ll see. It’s called a toughie for a reason.
With Indonesian cacao, Korean ginseng, shilajit, ashwagandha, maca root, vanilla and more, it claims to expand your ‘inner potential for pleasure’. Does it? I don’t know, but it’s delicious and chocolatey and causes me straight-up delight.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
